Setting Boundaries with People

It can be difficult at times to know when someone has the potential to repent and become a better person, or if they are caught in selfish and manipulative evil psychological cycles that they choose to stay in. Even though followers of Jesus are to “good to our enemies”, if our enemies simply take advantage of the kindness we give and cause our livelihood to decline, we are to remove ourselves from those situations.

God deals with these situations too. God wants us to be good people, but people try taking advantage of God and God sets boundaries with his creations. We must create these boundaries with people as well who choose to do wicked things, while simultaneously making sure we are not doing wicked things as well. God creates boundaries with beings based on how caring, loving, humble, and understanding they are. The closer someone is to being good and holy, the more trustworthy they are, and the more trustworthy someone is, the closer God will come towards them. If God grows angry when wickedness is near him. A holy person bringing wickedness into their life is like impaling themselves with a knife. To not harm oneself one must be able to identify evil and keep it at bay.

The word “narcissist” and “sociopath” are just a modern-day word equivalents for “evil” and being a “wicked person”, as described in the Bible.

In a certain light, one of the main aspects of the Bible is fighting against evil, or in other words, fighting against “narcissism” (using modern secular terminology). Evil people who are sent to hell are inherently going to be people who are are “narcissistic” and “sociopathic.” Narcissistic and sociopathic people are people who do not care about apologizing or righting their wrongs or repenting nor believe in taking responsibility for their actions. These are people who do not care about the greater good and ultimately dismiss and ignore the teachings of God. These are people who take advantage of people, who are selfish and manipulative. Protect yourself against these people and make sure that you are not becoming one or that you are one already. A part of Christianity is defending yourself against people like this and riding yourself of the temptations and behaviors that make you into one.

Here are some helpful videos about narcissistic relationships. Many of these videos are by psychologist Ramani Durvasula. Beware, one thing that is not stated in Ramani’s videos is that most of us have narcissistic qualities. Again, we are all sinners. One trap that some people fall into when they watch these videos, is that they will identify someone in their life as the “narcissist” and then assume they are not at all a narcissist because they assume they are this “sanctimonious” victim of sorts, who did no wrong. Do not ignore your own faults in pursuit of trying to use the identify of “victim” and “victimhood” to assume you are sanctimonious. Because someone wronged you does not mean that you never wronged them or that you did not wrong someone else. Some of these videos detailing narcissistic charities may also apply to you. I have met many people in my life who claim the “victimhood status” and call other people “narcissists” when in fact they are one themselves and put the blame of everything on other people, and at times unjustifiably call the people they are abusing “narcissists” so they can feel justified in abusing the people they are tormenting. Beware not to become this kind of person. As you are analyzing the people in your life who may possibly behaving with narcissistic qualities, make sure you are not ignoring your own.

Proverbs 4:14-19 Don't take the path of the wicked; don't follow those who do evil. Stay away from that path; don't even go near it. Turn around and go another way. The wicked cannot sleep until they have done something evil.

1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister[a] but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.